No Such Thing As Summer Break {and other musings}

When I was sitting in the school office this week, a very sweet boy who had attended math competitions in the past came up to me and asked:  “How did Collin win the Mini Mu?”  It was worded exactly so, and his pleading look made me very much wish I could give him a short, practical answer.

I can see how it might look like it “just happened” to a fellow kid.   From the outside, there’s not much about Collin (or Madeleine, who has also done well at these things) that screams “Math!”  If you look at the event photos, the children who make it on stage for a trophy are almost uniformly Asian or Indian.  (This is simply a fact of observation.)  And to the child who approached me, Collin’s school routine seems remarkably similar to his own.

So how did it happen? 

Completed practice tests---yup, there were quite a few.

Madeleine at her second math competition.

I’ve pondered the question over for the past week while we’ve been on a little vacation, and here are a few Roberts Family Philosophies (RFPs) possibly at work.  These are not a reflection of a “know it all” attitude by any stretch, but rather a gradual coming-to of beliefs as our family has grown that I thought I’d share.  I very sadly admit that I haven’t read lots of parenting books (with the exception of Shepherding A Child’s Heart, which I’ve read multiple times), attended parenting seminars, or even joined a MOPS group.  Why?  I guess I’ve been too snowed in with the never-ending task at hand: parenting.

So here are some RFPs, such as they are, in no certain order:

We, the parents, are the guardians and gatekeepers of their time.  We do not like our kids gaming, watching junk TV, or surfing the Internet.  They do not have their own smartphones, Instagram accounts, or Facebook pages.  As parents, we are the ones who set the “norm” in our household, and it includes lots of foursquare, tag, touch football, hide and seek, Legos, puzzles, reading, crafts, polly pockets, pillow tents, hand-sewn Barbie outfits, a little Khan Academy, and, yes, math.  Do the occasional apps and Disney Channel sneak in?  Of course they do, but as the official time gatekeepers in Casa Roberts, we have no problem powering down these scenarios mid-stream.  

There is no such thing as summer break.  Reading and especially math go on to a certain degree ALL YEAR ROUND in our household.  For instance, two summers ago, Collin finished a math text on his own under our (David’s) supervision. This summer, he steadily completed a series of Mini Mu sample exams as his summer project.  Our younger kids get math facts sheets or clock worksheets or any number of challenges that David prints out and presents with enthusiasm at the breakfast table.

Hard work trumps natural smarts any day.  I can testify to this by my college experience.  I went to a top-20 university by a squeaker admission.  I scored a whopping 1070 on my SAT and, even though I was in classes with National Merit Scholars and Valedictorians, I was so grateful to be there and so intimidated by the big brains surrounding me that I put in the hours and finished magna cum laude with a full-tuition-plus-stipend scholarship offer in hand to graduate school.  It continues to shock me that this RFP is true, but I most definitely watched it happen in my own life.  Did Collin have the highest IQ on the stage?  Probably not.  But he certainly put in the hard work in his own free time which, when all things considered, rendered IQ scores irrelevant.

Our organization, intentionality, and logistical support affects our child’s outcome.  I am not outstanding in this area, but I am very conscious of it as a factor (does that count?).  Who makes the trips to the library, scouts the book lists for good reads, pulls out sewing patterns, or suggest a good recipe?  It's not going to be the child, I can assure you.  Knowing these competitions were on the calendar for the upcoming year, I set about in early June to printing Collin’s math practice exams, organizing his summer folder, arranging a “Study Zone” at a quiet desk, and questioning him regularly about his progress.  David supplied absolutely critical tutoring support by explaining how to solve tough questions and often times supplying two or three possible means of solutions for a single problem.  Collin was disciplined to complete the task, but we—the parents—set him up for success.

Whether deliberately or not, we build a culture of what we value in our home.  Kids pick up on all the cues.  I value literature, music, and art very highly, so you will find paintings on our walls, art books on the tables, Pandora often running on the classical station, and a very active bookshelf in our kitchen where books in progress, just finished, and to be read are lined up alongside our Bibles and several favorite Bible commentaries.  We also value an active lifestyle, so there are swim googles, road bikes, baseball equipment, basketballs, and all manner of sports paraphernalia in our home.  David uses math every day in his job, and the kids know that math is one of the brain tools Daddy relies upon to support our family.  You better believe they realize how important it is to learn and how we simply without question expect them to do so.  I have very fond memories of a four-year-old Collin perched at our breakfast bar, having an absolute blast going head-to-head with Madeleine (two years his senior) in speed round fast facts math sheets, often coming out the winner.  My guess is that if you visited the homes of the children who lined the stages with my kids, they would have a culture of math in their households as well.

There is only so much that can be achieved in a day.  It takes consistency, day in and day out, to see true progress.  There is no room for procrastination in parenting (believe me, I’ve tried).  We build into their character, discipline, behavior, and knowledge every day, little by little, balancing fun free time with focused learning time.  It’s brick upon carefully placed brick rather than a blow-up house you plug in for quick success when college admissions roll around.  And if one day, week, or even month is a big flop, I reassure myself that tomorrow will bring a new opportunity to try again.

So, that poor fella’s simple question in the school office led to this long train of thought and possibly triggered the most boring blog post ever placed on the web.  But I feel satisfied that I have at least part of the answer in hand, and hope one day my kids will come back to the RFPs when they are wondering just why their childhood played out the way it did.