We're taking out annual end-of-June break from reality up in Charlottesville, Virginia, home of UVa, intellectuals, foodies, and the undulating Blue Ridge Mountains. Ahhhhh. A gal can breathe here (and gain a pound or two on locally sourced cuisine and craft beer.)
As it happens, we celebrate D's birthday each time we come, and this year he decided the festivities would include introducing his children to (yet another) sport: rock climbing.
I wasn't sure how it would go over. Rock climbing involves incredible stamina, strategy, fearlessness, and the willingness to cling by one's fingertips at high altitudes while covered in rivulets of sweat.
Wouldn't you know--my little people took right to it. Yet again, I wonder if they were switched at birth.
Hmmmm, maybe I've been living with Spider-man's undercover progeny and I never once knew it.
Don't tell.
How do they not fall? Because mom and dad have assumed the ultimate power position: the belayer.
(Belayer: the person maneuvering a system of ropes and pullies attached to a climber's harness that keeps them from from plunging down to injury or death.)
Oh my.
I've been on autopilot-mom mode for so long that when the instructor whipped through her belay directions for the double figure-eight knot I needed to tie that would mean the difference between life and death for my kids, I plumb froze up and stared blankly at her fast-moving mouth. Wait up now. How was I in the plans for this climb? Me tying fancy knots? It's like having a lifeguard who can't swim. Baaaad idea.
I heard a small inner voice say "Brain! Put down your thoughts of craft beer and learn this, pronto!"
The adrenaline rush combined with the thought of CNN's headline "Mother's Error Kills Children on Family Rock Climb" helped me push through and figure out the rules of belay.
Folks, this is a public service announcement. Bone up on your knot skills ASAP. You never know when they'll be required.
Whoopsie.
Two hours later, everyone not only survived, but left so smelly, sweaty, and happy that they asked to come back another day.
Next time, I'm packing my Wonder Woman outfit for this super hero work.
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